At work
You say the awkward thing early, while it is still small enough to fix.
What it costs
Rooms where nobody names the real problem, and holding a face that does not match what you think.
How you notice it early
You start rehearsing sentences in your head before meetings.
One thing
Before your next meeting, write the one sentence you would say if it were safe. Then say it out loud in the room.
If you want to show someone
Ask them what they actually think. They will tell you, and it saves a week.
With the people closest to you
People relax around you, because what you show is what is there.
What it costs
Assuming everyone is as readable as you are, and missing the ones who are not.
How you notice it early
You are surprised by something someone had been feeling for weeks.
One thing
Tonight, ask one person what they have been thinking about, not how they are doing.
If you want to show someone
They mean it plainly. There is usually no second layer to find.
The other seven
Written for you to read about yourself, not for anyone deciding about you. It describes what tends to cost and what tends to feed — it is not a diagnosis, a test, or a medical opinion, and it does not tell you what work to take or who to be with.